My Advice to You in 2021

Wow! Can you believe it? We are coming up on our 1 year anniversary of the Illinois COVID-19 shelter in place order. March 13, 2020. Will any of you truly ever forget it? I know I won’t.

Knowing that the last 365 days have been so different and so challenging, I challenge you to reflect back on these days and see what lessons you can take from them.

For instance, what did you take for granted? What could you do prior to March 13, 2020 that you still to this day cannot do? What do you miss? What do you wish you did differently during the last 365 days? Did you suddenly see life from a different lens?

Whether you know it or not, your perspective about life, work, family, friends, and hobbies have been forever adjusted; forever changed. One thing I feel like I really came to understand is that LIFE IS SHORT.

We, as Americans, were whining and complaining about things that didn’t deserve to be whined or complained about. Do you have any idea, what I would do to walk around my place of work without a mask— to see the kids in the classrooms without masks— to see their little smiles again? Ugh… what I would do. I know that day is coming, but for now it seems only a distant dream.

Something SO SIMPLE, that I took for granted. To see a smile. So whether I like it or not, 2020 changed me. I now feel like I have some sort of new found understanding about what we are all really doing here. So many things seemed unworthy of my time – of your time!

Opinions that once mattered, matter none. The daily pressures that seemed to run the day suddenly seem so foolish.

What IS important? You must ask yourself this. Your answers should dictate your day, each and every day.

So my challenge to you in 2021 is to do the following things for yourself… I promise you will come out of this year a much stronger, happier, independent, and motivated individual. What do you have to lose?

Be BOLD.

Seriously. Be bold with yourself. Whether its your hair, your personality, your aspirations in life- take them to your max. What do you have to lose? Your pride if you fail? No one cares. I personally admire those that try. Have you always wanted to try a new hobby? Well guess what, this is your year to put yourself out there. What if you fail? Failure is only your own standards. If you feel your initial try isn’t going how you planned—change it! Thats what is amazing about trying something new on your terms. You set the rules and expectations. BE YOUR OWN CHEERLEADER. Think deeply about who you are and where you are at in your life right now. Take the time to write down five things you wish you could change- if you could change anything! Remember too, that it is okay to be bold and afraid at the same time. But the door only ever opens for those that are brave enough to knock.

Take Risks.

Oh my goodness. Risk. As an entrepreneur this is my favorite word. Honestly my whole life is made up of risks. Everything is a risk. Not doing ANYTHING is a risk in and of itself. But hey! If you risk and win, you will be so happy! If you risk and you lose? Well you are wiser and ready to start again. I remember when we were about to open our first business I was sitting on my back porch with a good friend, a very wise friend. I told her I was nervous to start because what if we failed? She said to me, “What part of the failure scares you? The negative fall back from societal opinions? Your own self criticism? The financial input? What is it?” For me, it was 200% the idea of the new found debt from the risk we were taking. She said, “So what if you fail. You sell your house and move into the building and live there and your kids can play with all of those toys, and you will manage to find a way to pay off the debt. What do you have to lose?”

YES! She was SO right! If we tried and failed we would have picked up the pieces and tried again. But you know what? We succeeded. My confidence grew, and we tried again. We succeeded again. And again. And again. Some times all it takes is that first leap of faith.

Did you know that Kevin Plank, the founder of Under Armour only had $2 to his name in 1996? He couldn’t even pay for a toll so they ticketed him. He continued to be bold and took many risks. He had no where to go but up. In 2000, he asked his employees to forgo their paychecks for a few weeks so the brand could spend $25,000 on an advertisement in ESPN magazine. WOW! $25,000— what a gamble! That risky ad yielded 1M in sales. He paid everyone and the company BOOMED. Kevin now has a net worth of $2 billion. Be like Kevin. Take the risk.

Live Life FREELY.

Hmm… Freedom. What a beautiful thing. To live freely. What does this mean to you? To me it means to live without worry. Did you know many people have many “unfounded” troubles in their life? They are hypothetical self-manifested problems. What if this.. what if that? Well what the heck IF? You will overcome and carry on, is what the heck if. So stop it.

To me living freely also means seeing beauty from your own perspective, speaking kindly no matter who is around, loving truly— whoever it may be that you want to love.

Living freely means to create joyfully and live thankfully. Most important of all- give yourself the crowd and ability to laugh uncontrollably. Oh and please….never ever regret something that made you smile. On your death bed I don’t believe we think about the things we wish we would not have done. I think we think about the things we wish we would have done.

Lead By Example.

March to the beat of your own drum. Do you want your kids to quit bickering and yelling at each other? Lead them there. Stop yelling at them. Explain why and how.

Do you want the world to be a better place? My gooooodness, I do! Make a difference by making a change in your own corner of the world.

Do you hope your children grow up to stand up for themselves? Show them how. Show them in the midst of adversity how you handle it.

My kids have seen me face so much adversity and so many challenges over the last year. I honestly let my oldest two children, at ages 6 and 8, see it for what it was. I don’t mask the brutality of the world to them because I feel they can only learn from it.

Yes, there are 1,000 questions that come from certain experiences, but I am here to answer them. Just as my third child, Bexley, in true Bexley blunt fashion said to me last summer while I was pushing her on the swing, “Mama, I hope you never die, because I want you to always be the answer to my questions.” Insert one choked up mama!

But yes, lead by example. Throughout the challenges and negativity we face in our daily lives right now, show those around you how to handle it with positivity. Doing so does not make you appear naive, it makes you a leader.

Everyone you encounter yearns for a positive spirit. In life, leaders don’t typically set out to be a leader. They move forward to make a difference. It’s not about the role, it’s always about the goal.

Trust Your Gut.

If something feels off, well that’s because it is. Don’t search for the reason, just trust it and move on. Do you know how many times in my life I have said “I wish I would have trusted my gut”. Well I usually discredit it and follow my heart. I have always been a softy for a “poor me, poor my” story someone gives me. Some of these stories are true and legit. Those stories give you goosebumps— a good and true instinct.

Other stories make your stomach twist— and that’s because its a full of crap story (for lack of better term). The brain can play tricks and be fooled, the heart can be blind, but your gut is always right!

Say What You Feel, Mean What You Say.

Does it get any simpler than that? People complicate communication sooooo much more than they need to. Would life not be so much easier if you just always said exactly how you feel? Or people only said exactly what they mean?

I mean truly. Think about it. So many times you leave a conversation questioning someone’s stance on the topic or issue. To be honest, most people don’t say exactly how they feel because this world has to be politically correct all of the time and everyone is so damn sensitive.

So take it from me— speak your mind. It’s liberating and those that matter do not mind and those that mind do not really matter.

Truth: You can be direct and still be kind. Also, never ever say something you do not mean. Do not say things to just be mean. But also do not agree to something just to be nice. Be honest. It’s the best quality you can have.

Express Gratitude.

Yes yes yes. A simple thank you or remark of appreciation can go so far. I will never forget. A few months into the pandemic, Summer 2020, I received a handwritten note on my desk from a parent of a child at our center. The words were so simple, but honestly so thoughtful that it gave my entire month the extra boost I needed to remain positive and happy and keep going for our community.

It was that day that I realized how far a simple note of gratitude could go. It also goes to show that you do not need “much” or need to give gifts to make a difference or show you appreciate someone. This was a handwritten note, made from pencil and paper, and it meant more to me than anything.

Expressing gratitude will change your life. Understanding and giving gratitude will make sense of your past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.

Believe in Your Power.

Power. I truly believe that many people are unhappy in this world due to a power struggle. So many struggle and battle with the inability to control everything around them.

Power is something that one must realize cannot always be within our control. You cannot control or have power over the weather, or over your child’s behavior 24/7, or your coworkers’ work ethic.

But, did you know that you have the power to shape your own reality? Yes! It’s the one thing you can have control over, and by taking this power into your own hands you will change your life.

You have the power to control your mood. You have the power to control your mindset. The power to adjust your reaction to things around you. The power to wake up everyday and choose to be happy. YES, happiness is a choice.

You do not need to live an extravagant life to use the power to shape your reality. Make your reality the best it can be. A quote I love from Rev. Ike is the following, “If you do not consciously and deliberately condition your mind to be, to do and to have the good that you desire, the world will condition your mind negatively.” Don’t fall into the societal trap, believe in your power.

All in all, take the strength you gained from the madness you have survived these last 365 days and do something great with it. Create a life you can’t wait to wake up to by being the happiest version of yourself. Remember, sometimes it’s all in our heads. As Steven Furtick said, “Your perspective will either become your prison or your passport”. You choose! Be bold, take risks, live life freely, lead by example, trust your gut, say what you feel and mean what you say, express gratitude, believe in your power, and have the best damn year possible!

– Maria